Confidence
by kurenohikari
Summary: The war against Sebastian is finally over. Everyone wants to punish the feys for aiding Sebastian and betraying the treaty. But they don't listen to Magnus when he defended them... what would happen if Alec wouldn't have stayed silent at that moment and spoke up? Pre-sequel: "Don't go breaking my heart".
1. Brave

_I can't believe it! I am hearing my own people deciding to send Elena away because she is half-faerie. Why do they always act controlled by fear before thinking?! Magnus spoke the truth. After all it was rancor that caused the faeries to ally with Sebastian, but The Clave doesn't seem to see it. Or maybe they do, but prefer to turn a blind eye. Because of the guilt that consumes them, because they aren't brave enough to admit their mistakes._

I looked around me and felt sad to see so many trying to speak up, to change the decision made... but none did. My gaze wandered towards Aline's mother and my heart ached at the pain she was feeling for her daughter. However, what made me question myself if staying quite was right, was the look on my father's eyes. If you didn't know him, you wouldn't notice a change. But I knew him, so I was able to see the doubt in his eyes. _Do I want to end up like him? Hurting people, like he hurt me, because I am worried of how I would be seen?... Oh for Raziel's fucking sake, I'm already seen as a freak for my sexuality! Let's fuel the fire a little bit more._

 **You can be amazing**  
 **You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug**  
 **You can be the outcast**  
 **Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love**  
 **Or you can start speaking up**

 **Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do**  
 **When they settle 'neath your skin**  
 **Kept on the inside and no sunlight**  
 **Sometimes a shadow wins**  
 **But I wonder what would happen if you**

"Enough!" I exclaimed as I stood up, gaining everyone's attentions. The majority of them watching me surprised, some intrigued and a few groups with disgust. _It's good to see that the great part of the Shadow World population stopped hating me because I am gay... even though it has to do with the fact that I killed Meliron the right hand of the deceased Fearie Queen and known as the strongest fey_ "Can we all stop acting as if we are angry at them?!" I asked pointing at the new Queen, whose facial indifferent faked cracked for a split second letting me see her shock but composed herself so fast that I couldn't be sure of anything "Because if anyone here really believes that they must be all punished, I have to say that I am ashamed of they and would like to never see their faces again... ever" my voice resonated firm and strong through the Clave's Accord Hall, with a determination I never thought possible of achieving. When I was sure that no one was speaking or wanted to interrupt me, because if I had the right to express myself they did as well, I continued my little speech "Not all the fearies were involved in this war, there still innocent children and half-breed that didn't know a thing. Also, when in history had we seen that punishing an entire country, religion or specie was the best solution. Let's take one of the most famous mundane's global problem: Germany in the First World War. Germany was not the one that began it or the only one involved in it, but what decided the biggest potencies of the worlds at that moment? To punish Germany with the wish of destroying it enough so they could never be a great potencies again. All of that because they were jealous, angry and, the most important of them, scared" a lot of people flinch at my words, even Magnus. _They probably were present during that war... Which really makes me question, how old is Magnus? Why can't he tell me that kind of stuff?!_ I shook my head, trying to get rid of those thoughts, before speaking up again "What ended up happening? They rose up again but with the double of force plus the rancor and hater, Germany almost conquered whole Europe and a huge number of people were killed, raped, tortured and a lot of things more. Of course you might be thinking, what does the mundanes have to do with us 'that are so over them and more powerful'?" there was a common chuckle at my imitation of the snobby people of our society, and the laughter of the bravest ones. Which of course were Jace, Izzy, Clary, Aline, Helen, Jordan, Maia and some other ones that I didn't know "If we would just slip away from that blindfold and truly see mundanes by what they are, we would learn a lot of things from them. As well, now I am speaking only to Shadow Hunters, have forgotten the truly purpose of our existence... it isn't killing demons" I raised my hand at seeing so many of my kind ready to shout at me, even my siblings "Our job it is to kill them but our purpose is to protect those who cannot protect themselves*" I locked gazes with my father who didn't even bother to hide his emotions, he looked at me with pride and surprise shinning brightly in his eyes. That gave me the strength and the courage to keep on going "Getting back to the topic, if we tried to punish all the fearies we wouldn't only be starting a Second Black War, we would be hypocrites! Do I have to remind the werewolves about how many slaughters they did back when the Praetor Lupus didn't exist? Also, I would like to high-light that this slaughter involved mundanes as much as vampires, Nephilims, warlocks, witches and fearies" some vampires chuckled and murmured 'busted' in a mockingly way, which angered me. _Is that they don't learn?!_ "Vampires weren't saints either. They used to hypnotize anyone in reach to get them to one of those big parties, were they were treated as animals and just a source of food. Even sometimes they would keep them as a pat or a personal slave- that shut the vampires up and they had the decency of looking ashamed "Warlocks and witches..." I started landing my gaze on Magnus to flash him an apologizing small smile "You are the ones with the most self-control and the wisest behavior, but what happens when someone hurts your ego or your honor? Villages burn or a whole society id cursed out of the mistake of one man or woman or creature. Fearies... well I won't speak about it, we all just lived through one of their revenges" a dark look passed through all of us but I tried to shake it off so I could continue "Last but not least Shadow Hunters, we all think so much of ourselves because we have angel blood in us and the Downworlders are 'infected with demon's blood'. But that's not true! What makes us all..." I pointed at the whole Accords Hall "...better or good is what we do with our abilities. Being a werewolf doesn't mean that you must be a beast that loses control and kills everything and everyone in their sight when the full moon is out. Being a vampire doesn't mean that they are blood starved monsters. Being a warlock or a witch doesn't mean that they are like their demon parent. Being a fearie doesn't mean that you are creatures that only live for tricking and ruining other people's life. Being a Shadow Hunter doesn't mean that we are angels and can't ever be wrong. Look at what happened this year! See what Valentine and Sebastian, who are Shadow Hunters, did in just a few months. All the pain that they caused and all the blood they had shed. And a few years ago what the circle did. But have we ever punished any of this four communities by their mistakes? No, we didn't. Why should we start now? And begin with two Shadow Hunters that fought by our side during this war, and are going to be exiled because their mother was a fearie" when I stopped talking everything was dead quite. But I wasn't nervous or regretted anything, the complete opposite I was the freest I had ever been.

 **Say what you wanna say**  
 **And let the words fall out**  
 **Honestly I wanna see you be brave**  
 **With what you want to say**  
 **And let the words fall out**  
 **Honestly I wanna see you be brave**

 **I just wanna see you**  
 **I just wanna see you**  
 **I just wanna see you**  
 **I wanna see you be brave**

"Are we really going to let a faggot like him to speak like that to us?! He should be punished for such disrespectful behavior. If I tell you the truth, he should have been bereft of his runes as soon as he kissed that warlock!" Edward Rosethorn exclaimed furiously, jumping off his seat. He is one of the most powerful men of this generation, the principle reason why a lot of shadow hunters began agreeing with him. However, he gained that power by abusing of his position and blackmailing other Nephilims.

"You piece of..." I raised my hand silencing my parabatai, who was very furious at Rosethorn. Jace wasn't the only one, Izzy, mom, dad, Aline, Helen, Aline's mother, Jordan, Maia, even Magnus was trying to control his magic from how angry he is! _It is good to know that he still cares about me, even after everything I made him go through._ But what surprised me the most was the dark glare that the new _Fearie Queen was throwing to Edward._

 _"I might be a faggot Mister Rosethorn but at least I am honest and rightful, that's more than I could say from you" I told Edward with a poker face, not showing how much I enjoyed how his eyes were about to pop out of his skull and how his jaw hit the floor "Or is it that I have to remind you of all the dirty secrets you have? Like all the blackmailing that you did or the way you imposed your whishes over the rights of other Nephilims by abusing your powers" He glared at me with so much hater that if looks could kill I would be six feet underground by now. However, when my father and Jia Penhallow gave him a look he shut up and sat down obediently._

 **I just wanna see you**  
 **I just wanna see you**  
 **I just wanna see you**  
 **I wanna see you be brave**

 **Everybody's been there,**  
 **Everybody's been stared down by the enemy**  
 **Fallen for the fear**  
 **And done some disappearing,**  
 **Bow down to the mighty**  
 **Don't run, just stop holding your tongue**

"So what do you propose to do Alexander?" asked me Jia firmly, but I could hear fondness behind it as well. _Is that no one knows how much I hate people calling me by my full name? I only let my mother and my father call me by it_ "How can we punish the feairies by their betrayal without provoking another war?"

 _Good question... I haven't thought that far away yet._ I looked around the Accords Hall until my gaze landed on the Blackthorns that had lost everything but themselves. _That's it!_ "First of all they must talk to the Wild Hunt and demand them to return Mark Antony Blackthorn back to the shadow hunter and to never bother him or his family again" my heart ached when I received the looks full of gratitude and hope from the Blackthorn family.

 **Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live**  
 **Maybe one of these days you can let the light in**  
 **Show me how big your brave is**

 **Say what you wanna say**  
 **And let the words fall out**  
 **Honestly I wanna see you be brave**  
 **With what you want to say**  
 **And let the words fall out**  
 **Honestly I wanna see you be brave**

"Fair choice" said Jia to me before turning to the new Fearie Queen "Do you think that you'll be capable of that?".

"The Wild Hunt doesn't obey me and it will bring us a lot of problems... but I'll see what I can do to help" she answered "What else?" she asked me with a small smile. _Maybe because I am helping her and her kind?_

"If the fearies can't pay for every destruction that caused this war or it will cause them to fall into poverty, they could always pay for half of it and work for the rest. What I mean is that they can rebuilt the houses or whatever that was destroyed with their hands" I explained once I saw the confused gazes of the rest "Also, I know thanks to a source that the Morgenstern still have money saved. Valentine and Sebastian have as much fault here as the fearies, it is only fair that we use that money to help with the reparations" I took a deep breath trying to calm down my nerves and to buy me some time till an idea occurs to me.

 **And since your history of silence**  
 **Won't do you any good,**  
 **Did you think it would?**  
 **Let your words be anything but empty**  
 **Why don't you tell them the truth?**

 **Say what you wanna say**  
 **And let the words fall out**  
 **Honestly I wanna see you be brave**  
 **With what you want to say**  
 **And let the words fall out**  
 **Honestly I wanna see you be brave**

"As well we must don't punish anyone that has fearie blood in them, because the only thing that Helen and Mark had done was fight for us during this war. And what are we doing?! Exiling them because of something that they couldn't stop" I said firmly daring anyone to tell me wrong "Also, taking all their weapons won't do any good. Who of us would like that our only way to defend ourselves from the exterior was taken away from us?"

"Then we just let them rebuilt their army so they can attack us again?!" a Nephilim from the crowd, that I didn't know, asked me.

"Of course not! Their army and weapons must be reduced but not disappear" I answered her staring at her, reusing to be intimidated ever again. _I won't bit my tongue ever again, I will speak what I believe in freely._

 **I just wanna see you**  
 **I just wanna see you**  
 **I just wanna see you**  
 **I wanna see you be brave**

 **I just wanna see you**  
 **I just wanna see you**  
 **I just wanna see you**  
 **See you be brave**

I waited patiently until Aline's mother finally spoke up "Thank you for speaking Alexander Gideon Lightwood. Now we will discuss your ideas in private and when we have a final decision we will be back" just like that every ambassador and high positioned member of each species, except fearies, stood up and left the Accords Hall.

"Mister Lightwood thank you for your help" the voice of the new Fearie Queen brought me back from my trance. I looked up at her and saw her smiling at me "Even though your ideas won't be accepted shall you know that we, fearies, don't forget. We will remember the way you defended us and tried to help us out"

"Don't even mentioned it Queen Whitewillow, I already had enough of this attitude" I told her, making her laugh.

"I just wanted to tell you that if thinks doesn't go as we both expect, I'll make my best effort to bring Mark Antony Blackthorn back from the Wild Hunt" I looked at her surprised by her preposition. _I must have made a great impression right now_ "Already said everything I had to, I'll leave you to your family" she told me before walking away, just in time that I was tackled down by all the Blackthorns.

"Thank you Alec!" they all chanted together as they hugged the life out of me.

"Well done Alec! You put them in their places" Jace said to me once I was free from the dead grip of the Blackthorn family. He extended a hand to help me up, which I gratefully accepted.

"Who knew that you had it in you brother" joked Izzy, but I still could see the pride in her eyes.

"Let's just hope that they'll listen to reason and make the right choices" commented Clary.

Soon the mood turn sour but I knew that I had already done everything I could, and I was satisfied because of it. The only thing left was to wait for the results of my effort.

 **I just wanna see you (yeah)**  
 **I just wanna see you (oh ooh)**  
 **I just wanna see you**

 **I just wanna see you**  
 **I just wanna see you**  
 **I just wanna see you**


	2. Back to December

From all the eight hundred years that I had lived, I had loved many times. I had got my heart broken more times that I would like to admit, even to myself. I had been enthralled and touched only a few times. And things that surprised me, were each time lesser. However, there was no moment of my long life that I met a person that caused all this reaction in me or that had stolen my heart ... not until I met Alexander Guideon Lightwood.

He had been a box of surprises since the moment I met him and his golden heart had touched me deeply. I had fallen in love with him when he kissed me in front of everyone before we went to war, not caring for nothing or anyone but my happiness. He was the first one that ever did that, the only person that loved me enough to put me first before himself. And I had gotten my heart broken when he decided to meet with my ex behind my back, betraying my trust.

Alexander didn't only did this but he also stole my heart completely. I am sure that I would never fall in love again, he is it for me. _When he dies... that is not something I want to think about. Never. It kills me the simple thought of it. I might be dying right now, for all that I know. My world has been upside down since I lost him... since he left my life._

 **I'm so glad you made time to see me  
How's life, tell me how's your family?  
I haven't seen them in a while  
You've been good, busier then ever  
We small talk, work and the weather  
Your guard is up and I know why**

 **Because the last time you saw me  
Is still burned in the back of your mind  
You gave me roses and I left them there to die**

"Mr. Bane, what do you think about this matter?" asked me Robert Lightwood. The simple fact that he was addressing me politely was surprising, but that he asked me for my opinion was shocking.

"We all know that he will be in your son's side" sneered a shadow hunter "After the big scene they played in the Accord Hall".

The way he spoke about us, with so much hater and repulse, made me see red "Really? 'A scene we played'? I think that I saw you kiss your wife before fighting, why can't we do the same?" I asked in a mocking polite voice.

"Because you are an abomination, you shall burn in hell for what you do!" he yelled in rage.

"An abomination?! We are just people in love, for God's sake!" I exclaimed in outrage.

"See! This is what Alexander was talking about" pointed out Luke in a tired tone "We can't see pass our own interest, fears and pride. We are not able to accept the wrong we had done or the ones that are different from us. Listen to what he said".

"We already did" replied a vampire.

"No we didn't. We just heard him and then kicked him out of the conversation he created" said Penhallow "We need to listen to Alexander, he is the key to finally have a better relationship together".

"What do you expect us to do Consul? Forget all the pain we had been inflicted and move on?" questioned a witch "It isn't that simple".

"I know that, but trying to put our differences away and be civil is the least we can do" she answered "We can start with accepting the conditions that Alexander put to the Faeries".

I watched the scene in amazement. Centuries of discussion and hater were starting to be resolved just because a nephelin finally spoke up? But it wasn't just any nephelin. We were talking Alexander, the only half angel that doesn't think himself superior to the others. The only one that took time to get to know the others better and really liked Downworlders, with no judgment.

 _And I let him go. I chased away the only good thing that ever happened to me go away. I just hope he could ever forgive me and let me in again... but I know that it wasn't possible. Not when I hurt him so much, and especially not when I can not do the only thing he asked of me and he always did... be honest. But I'll have to do that. If I ever want to get him back into my life, I have to open up._

 **So this is me swallowing my pride  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night  
And I go back to December all the time  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine  
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right  
I go back to December all the time**

 **These days I haven't been sleeping  
Staying up playing back myself leaving  
When your birthday passed and I didn't call  
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times  
I watched you laughing from the passenger side  
And realized I'd loved you in the fall  
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind  
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye**

I grabbed my notebook and began writing down the stories of my life, that were the most impacting, into it.

"You talk about equality and coming to an understanding with us, but when it comes to an union between you and us you look down upon us" spoke a she werewolf, which I am almost sure that is married to a nephelin "You'll have to accept marriage between a downworlder and a nephelim legally, for us to know that you are talking seriously" I admired her bravery. For a downworlder to talk back like that was strange "If you believe that this... union has a future, you'll have to start treating us as equals".

"As long as I am alive, I will not let that happen!" the same nephelim that shouted at me, spoke again.

 _Of course things would never go so easily. There will always be someone that will refuse the change._

"Let's calm down, everybody" demanded my good old friend Raphael, who looked beat after all we had to go through in Hell "One problem at the time. First let's choose how to punish the Faeries, then we can discuss equality in another meeting. But not everything at once, we must remember that some of us were in Hell just an hour ago" he pointed at me, Luke, Jocelyn and himself "I give Alexander my vote. I think that his decision and ideas are the best way stop another war from part of the Faeries, and it will help us all in the meanwhile".

"I give Alec my vote as well" I announced with a smile "Let's be honest, people. The only thing he wants is peace and a better future for everyone. Also, a young mind is way better than one old and full of rancor".

"I'll follow Alexander's choice too" Penhallow said.

"Me too" added Luke and Jocelyn.

"For me my son's idea is the right one" Maryse spoke up.

"I think that as well" Robert told everyone. This might be the only time I had ever seen them in accord with something.

And like that one by one, the ninety percent of the people in here, gave their vote to Alexander. However, I could sense that the ten percent left wouldn't stay quiet and will try to do something to stop this 'sacrilege'. But I'll be there for Alec and will protect him with my life... even if he doesn't accept me back.

After writing the treaty in paper, with all of Alexander's conditions, the Consul, Inquisitor and the ambassador of each Downworlder specie (Luke, Raphael and me). We called everyone back to the room, so we could announce the results for everyone. Also, we needed the new Seelie Queen and Alexander to sign the treaty.

However, my lovely blue eyed shadow hunter wasn't there. As we couldn't make everyone wait for only one person, we began the meeting. Penhallow announced that we decided to follow Alexander's idea to punish the Faeries and carried on explaining all the conditions.

"Do you agree with this treaty Seelie Queen?" Penthouse asked the Fearie, who had a smile in her face.

"Yes, I am" she replied.

"Remember that you will have to go against the Wild Hunt and return the shadow hunter that they stole" I reminded her. I knew that Helen, Aline and Alexander were good friend, and that he spoke up principally for them.

"That was already done" the Seelie Queen announced. The door, suddenly, slammed open and the oldest Blackthorn entered the room. He ran towards his siblings and hugged them "Alexander did something that no other shadow hunter ever did before... he stood up for Downworlders and meant every word he did. That is something we will never forget. That's why we would have returned Blackthorn even if you wouldn't have accepted Alexander's idea" she explained and proceed to sign the treaty.

Out of the blue, the doors of the room slammed open again. And Alexander barged into the room with a man that I never expected to see again... Jem.

"Sorry for the noise" apologized, breathlessly, Alec "I just wanted to get in time before you send Emma to an orphanage" he excused himself "This is brother Zachariah... or ex-brother Zachariah. But he is also a Carstairs and the only living relative that Emma has. He had decided to take guardianship of her and to take care of her training".

"Hi, I am Jem Carstairs" he presented himself "Alexander explained me that Emma was going to turn into Julian's parabatai, so she could stay with them. But that is not the right way to turn into parabatais, if you grow up and still want to be parabatais it's ok. But not now... not after so much pain, that you are not thinking straight. So will you stay with me? I'll be living in New York and your friends will be welcomed too".

Emma looked at the Blackthorns and they smiled at her "We will go to New York as well... Los Angeles has a lot of history that we would like not to remember" told her Helen.

"Then I accept" answered Emma.

"Now that everything is resolved, Alexander come here and sign the treaty" ordered Penhallow.

"Treaty?" he asked confused.

"Yes, we accepted your idea" the Consul told him.

He smiled and signed the treaty. Everyone clapped and after a few words, from Penhallow, everyone left the room to their own businesses. I stood up and marched towards Alexander, who was being showered with love and gratefulness from the Blackthorn family.

 **So this is me swallowing my pride  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night  
And I go back to December all the time  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine  
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind  
I go back to December all the time**

 **I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right  
And how you held me in your arms that September night  
The first time you ever saw me cry  
Maybe this is wishful thinking  
Probably mindless dreaming  
But if we loved again I swear I'd love you right**

"Alec, we need to talk" I called out for him. He looked at me shock, as if he was surprised that I would talk to him. That pained me more that I was willing to admit. But he nodded his head anyway and followed me outside. I spoke up again, when I was sure that we were out of range from any piping eyes or ears "Alec... I am truly sorry for all the pain that I caused you. We both hurt each other gravely, but I should have let you explain yourself before shutting you out".

"I would have never accepted Camille's plan to shorten your life" he told me softly.

"I know!" I exclaimed "That's why I am so sorry... and I want you back into my life Alec. You are it for me, I am sure that I would never be able to fall in love again cause you own my heart".

"Magnus... I love you too" he told me with a huge smile that lightened his whole face "But won't do it again. I can't be with someone that doesn't tell me about himself and his past".

"I know. That is why I wrote this" I gave him my notebook "It has the most impacting moments in my life, I hope this might be a start" I was about to turn around when Alexander grabbed me by the arm "Alec?".

"And I'll try to be less jealous, is that a good start?" he asked with a shy smile.

"A perfect start" I replied and leaned down for a kiss.

"What about the future? I will grow old and you will stay the same" he muttered against my lips.

"Let's think about that later. Right now live each day as if it was the last one" I told him before capturing his lips into another kiss.

 **I'd go back in time and change it but I can't  
So if the chain is on your door, I understand**

 **But this is me swallowing my pride  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night  
And I go back to December  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine  
I'd go back to December turn around and make it all right  
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind  
I go back to December all the time all the time**


	3. Starts with goodbye

My whole world was turned upside down. All that I believed to be true was wrong. By what this strange man with golden cat contact lenses, this gorgeous woman and this red head pixie, my memories were swept away by a demon. Also, that I had been turned into a vampire once and I was a war hero. THAT made no sense at all, I couldn't be a hero. I was just a nerd music and all I could ever expect is go to a nice college.

But here were this three strangers telling me about this new world in the shadows, this stories about a mundane that turned into a fighter for his best friend and then for his new friends. And they expect me to believe that I was this person. When they offered me to train to be a shadow hunter, I wanted to tell them 'Sorry guys, but I think you got the wrong guy'.

However, what left my mouth was: "Ok. Cool! I'm in for the adventure".

"Yes!" exclaimed the red head pixie, before jumping on my arms and hugging me.

I was surprised at first, cause I didn't expect it, but after a bit I hugged her back. The strange guy with golden cat contact lenses stopped smirking and smiled honestly for the first time. The gorgeous woman posture relax, as if a weight left her shoulders, and sighed relieved.

"But I'll go to the Shadow Hunters Academy" I told them, when both girls started making plans on who was going to teach me what.

 **I was sitting on my doorstep  
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand  
But I knew I had to do it  
And he wouldn't understand**

 **So hard to see myself without him  
I felt a piece of my heart break  
But when you're standing at a crossroad  
There's a choice you gotta make**

Their stances changed at my new news "I understand that you guys want me back into your life, but for me you are just strangers..." I was interrupted by a hand on my cheek "Damn it!" I cursed, for the sting of the slap "Why the hell..." I stopped shouting when I saw the glassy eyes of the gorgeous woman. She seemed at the edge of crying "Isabelle...".

"Don't you dare to speak my name!" she yelled at me, making me back off. Not because I was afraid of her but because of the pain and rage in her voice "You are dead to me Simon, so dead!".

With that said she turned around and left me behind, with a pain in my chest I don't know where it came from "She... is just hurt, Simon. Don't take it personal" assured me the red head pixie "A... are you sure that you want to go to the shadow hunters academy? We have really good teachers here".

"I do" I told her, my gaze never leaving the retreating back of Isabe... _No! If you start using names then you'll get attached. And it will hurt more when they'll leave, after realizing that you weren't worth it_.

 **I guess it's gonna have to hurt  
I guess I'm gonna have to cry  
And let go of some things I've loved  
To get to the other side**

 **I guess it's gonna break me down  
Like fallin' when you try to fly  
Sad but sometimes  
Moving on with the rest of your life  
Starts with goodbye**

There was nothing left to say there, so I left. The next couple of weeks I spent them packing up my stuff, and planning what lie to tell my mother. Cause I couldn't tell her: 'Hey mom! I have to tell you something very important. This might sound funny... or maybe crazy, most likely crazy. But there is a whole new world hidden in the shadows, full of supernatural creatures. Like vampires, werewolves, warlocks, faerie and Nephlimes. Also, it seems like I used to be one of the children of the night, but lost my memories and abilities cause I made a deal with a prince demon. Now I have to go to a shadow hunters academy to train and find that piece of me, which I have been missing this last weeks'.

She would send me to a mental institution... or to the synagogue. Most likely to the synagogue, so they could perform an exorcism on me. So I invented that I was accepted into an exchange program of a private school in the exterior... which isn't a complete lie. However, I still felt very bad when my mother looked at me with so much pride in her eyes. But that didn't stop me either, I needed to remember who I was and come back home being the hero they told me I was.

Of course, nothing could be so easy for me. As soon as I entered the academy there were a lot of problems. Bullies, confusion, a vampire, the wild hunt, I even found a blue baby warlock at the doors of the academy! _Thank goodness that Magnus and Alec were at the academy that day. They saved the us all from taking care of a baby. Although I didn't expect them to take care of the baby themselves, I was very happy for them. Especially after finally fixing the misunderstanding with Alec. I am sure that Max Bane, soon to be Max Michael Lightwood-Bane (when the Consul finally listen to Alec completely and accept marriage and adoption between Nephelimes and Downworlders), was going to be the luckiest little warlock in New York... if not of the world_.

 **I know there's a blue horizon  
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me  
Getting there means leaving things behind  
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet**

 **I guess it's gonna have to hurt  
I guess I'm gonna have to cry  
And let go of some things I've loved  
To get to the other side**

But not all of my experiences here, at the academy, were bad. There was also good stuff. Like the understanding between the Nephlimes and mundanes. They began to get along and work together, rather than try to kill each other. Not only that, I got word that Magnus and Alec moved to Idris for a while so that they can make their message get to the Consul... well Alec did, Magnus is there for moral support. And because he couldn't stand being apart from his boyfriend. But not only the Consul had began listening to Alec, in the Academy they did it too. Here they formed three groups: one of them that support Alec and his revolutionary ideas (me and my friend Georges are part of this group). The second one that hates this changes and want things to go back in time, before the Accords (luckily this group is the smallest). And the third one that doesn't want to get involved into the mess, this is the biggest but only for a couple of student compared to the first one.

In the meanwhile, I assisted to the wedding of Helen and Aline, worked hard to catch up with my school companions and started to remember my past. It began with images coming in my dreams and then moved on nightmares. I woke up the whole hall more than once. Right now they come to me as if I was watching a movie, it doesn't matter if I am asleep or awake it still happens. But it didn't matter to me, cause I got to remember Isabelle. The most gorgeous heartbreaker that I had ever met. I just hoped that she will understand that me leaving was the best for both of us. That we needed to move on with our lives, and that I always was going to get back home.

 **I guess it's gonna break me down  
Like fallin' when you try to fly  
It's sad but sometimes  
Moving on with the rest of your life  
Starts with goodbye**

 **Time heals the wounds that you feel  
Somehow, right now**

"Have you heard the news?!" asked us, Georges and me, Beatriz, as she and her parabatai sat in our table.

"What news?" I asked, snapping out of my trance, in curiosity. Beatriz seemed very excited.

"Alexander finally got the Consul to accept Shadow Hunters marriage with Downworlders! And those couples can adopt, legally, children of any race!" she announced.

"Alec finally did it?!" I exclaimed astonished but happy "When did it happen?".

"Yesterday night" a familiar, full of joy, voice answered from behind. When I turned around I found Magnus grinning as a Cheshire cat, normally I would find that uncomfortable. But with his golden eyes shining with so much happiness and love, I found myself finding it endearing "It was official today, this morning we signed the papers. Who else can say that they are engaged with the most handsome shadow hunter ever and the youngest Nephlimes to sign official Consul papers, not once but twice?" he bragged "By the way, Simon you are invited to the wedding".

"I am?! Thank you!" I told him "What are you doing here Magnus?" I asked the warlock.

"What? Me inviting you personally to my wedding or my amazing presence isn't enough motive for you?" before I could defend myself, from the sarcastically comment of Magnus, he continued talking "I came to speak with Dean. I am planning to teach a semester here, at the academy".

"Really?!" exclaimed my friends excitedly.

I, on the other hand, inquired suspiciously "Why is that? I thought that with the wedding plans and the baby, you would like a more familiar ambient".

"Alec has to stay here in Idris to assist to reunions, for improving the relationships between downworlders and shadow hunters. And I don't want to spend three months away from my love. Especially since we just got engaged and Max appeared into our lives. So I decided to start teaching here, where I'll be near him" Magnus explained with an annoyed tone but pride on his eyes.

"The downworlders demanded him, specifically. They said that if he wasn't present, they wouldn't accept having reunions with the Consul" added Dean. Appearing from thin air, next to Magnus, and surprising us all "Alexander Lightwood is an extraordinary shadow hunter, I hope that you will turn to be like him one day".

 **I guess it's gonna have to hurt  
I guess I'm gonna have to cry  
And let go of some things I've loved  
To get to the other side**

 **I guess it's gonna break me down  
Like fallin' when you try to fly  
It's sad but sometimes  
Moving on with the rest of your life  
Starts with goodbye**

"They still have a long way to go but they are in the right way" commented Catarina. She was my favorite teacher and the guidance I follow when I am confused "Where is my favorite godson?" she demanded to know.

"He is your only godson, and he is with his other father and grand-father right now" replied Magnus with a snort.

After deciding to take of Max, Magnus and Alec had to choose god-parents for the baby. In occasion something bad happened to them. Max being immortal needed god-parents that would always be there for him. So Alec found himself in a difficult situation, cause the only people Alec would choose for the task were mortal. However, Magnus were friends with immortal people. That's why Alec let Magnus choose.

Unsurprisingly he picked Catarina to be the god-mother, who accepted immediately, touched by the trust her friend had in her. For the role of god-father he picked Nicolas la Fountain, the high-warlock of Los Angeles. And old friend of his and a very trusted one. Who seemed very surprised by the news but flattered none the less.

 _What will I do, when my time to decide god-parents comes?_ that small and insignificant mental question made me fantasize with Isabelle. She had just given birth to a healthy baby boy and was about to hand it to Clary, who was wearing a parabatai rune... the same one as I did.

Suddenly a lot of images appeared in my head, I couldn't stop myself from yelling in pain. I was able to hear several people shouting 'Simon' before fainting, but after that it was all black.

 **I guess I'm gonna have to cry  
And let go of some things I've loved  
To get to the other side**

 **Start to wave goodbye  
Like fallin' when you try to fly  
It's sad but sometimes  
Moving on with the rest of your life  
Starts with goodbye**

"I think he is waking up" a voice, I think George, whispered.

"What happened?" I asked, trying to sit up and surprised by how hoarse my voice sounded.

"Simon!" both Clary and Isabelle exclaimed, before jumping on me and giving me a group hug. _Why did they sounded so relieved?_.

"You blacked out" answered Alec, who I didn't notice was there with Max and Jace "So you tell us, what happened?".

"I... I remembered" I confessed "I remember everything!".

"Si... Simon?" Isabelle's voice sounded fearful but hopeful.

"Izy" I looked at her, trying to show all my love with my eyes "I am ready to go back home".

"Welcome back" she replied before kissing me.

 _I am back_.

 **Na na na na na na na na na** **  
Na na na na na na na na na  
Na na na na na na na, yeah**


	4. Troublemaker

"I still can't believe I let you drag me to this place" I complained to my best friend, not that I would ever admit that out loud, before finishing my blood shot in one go. We were in a salsa club in Barcelona. It allowed mundanes but the majority of the presents were downworlders "I should be in Idris, helping out Magnus and Alexander with their idea of legalizing the marriage between downworlders and shadow hunters".

"You are, Raphael" Lily told me with a sly grin "You had been trying to get those stupid Nephilim to understand that legalizing marriage would make relationship between us better. However, they don't want to comprehend it. So we will relax and have some fun, before we get to the point when we would start ripping some shadow hunters's head off" my face stayed neutral at her blunt reply, but I could feel the corner of my lips tilt upside a bit "Now get on the dance floor and get a girl or boy, I am not picky, to get laid".

Then she pushed me towards the multitude, making me collide with some people. And almost causing a mundane girl to fall on her ass, but my vampire reflexes allowed me to catch her in time.

"I am sorry señorita*, my friend pushed me" I apologized.

"It is fine, don't worry. It happens all the time when the club is so full" she said. When the mundane looked up and locked gazes with me, I gasped. Even though I don't need to breath. Ber eyes were so beautiful, a green emerald eyes I had ever seen that shinned with sincerity but sparkled in curiosity "I should thank you for saving me" she flashed me a bright amused smile.

 **You're a troublemaker**  
 **You're a troublemaker...**  
 **You ain't nothing but a troublemaker girl**

 **You had me hooked again from the minute you sat down**  
 **The way you bite your lip**  
 **Got my head spinnin' around**  
 **After a drink or two**  
 **I was putty in your hands**  
 **I don't know if I have the strength to stand**

"My name is Raphael" I presented myself, not being able to stop looking at the gorgeous girl in front of me.

"Like the archangel" she pointed out.

"No, you are the angel here" I commented without thinking. When I noticed what I had just said, I wanted the ground to swallow me. But when I saw the pink blush on her delicate cheeks, under the dim light of the club, I got encouraged "What is your name?" I asked her.

"I don't give my name to total strangers" she said after recovering her composure. She didn't smirk or flirt, she just spoke honestly and kept on smiling gently at me. (I like this girl more and more, every passing minute) I thought to myself "You could be a killer, waiting for me in the dark before eating me" she joked, not noticing my wince.

"Then let's get to know each other" I told her.

"First thing you need to know" she began "I love to dance and sing, but I'll never do it with someone who isn't my partner".

"Your boyfriend?" I asked with a frown, trying to get my anger under control. _Of course she would have a boyfriend, she is the most breathtaking girl I had ever seen._

"No, my brother" she replied with a knowing look "Let's sit down at the bar, we will talk more comfortable over there".

"Sure" I said, not being able to stop looking at her eyes.

 **Oh oh oh...**  
 **Trouble troublemaker. yeah**  
 **That's your middlename**  
 **Oh oh oh...**  
 **I know you're no good but you're stuck in my brain**  
 **And I wanna know**

 **Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad**  
 **Oh oh oh...**  
 **My mind keeps saying**  
 **Run as fast as you can**  
 **I say I'm done but then you pull me back**  
 **Oh oh oh...**  
 **I swear you're giving me a heart attack**  
 **Troublemaker!**

"So Rapahel..." she began speaking once we got to the bar and made our orders "Where are you from? Your accent isn't from here".

"I am from New York, I'm here because my friend thought that it was a good idea to come here and unwind ourselves a bit" I answered.

"A lot of stress?" she inquired.

"It comes with the job of working with idiots" I replied, taking a sip from my drink "Sometimes it's like they...".

"... don't want to hear" she cut me off "That they can only see hostility in you and not that you are trying to make things better".

"Exactly" I looked at her surprised. Not only because she said what I was thinking with so much conviction, but for the rage behind her words "Who made you so angry?" I asked her.

"Don't get me wrong Raphael, but I don't know you. I would really prefer not to share my private life with a complete stranger" she told me with an annoyed tone, which I could sense was not directed to me, but also with an apologizing look "Let's change the topic, what do you like to do?".

"Don't get me wrong, but I don't know you. I would really prefer not to share my private life with a complete stranger" I mocked her.

"Very funny Raphael" she taunted me "Really mature, throwing my words back at me. I love to sing, dance, listen to music, read, write... practically everything that is related to art. Except painting. I am horrible at doing that, but I like to visit galleries" she smirked challengingly at me "Now, it's your turn".

"I... there is nothing I like to do" I said, after thinking it a while.

I tried to think of activities I enjoyed doing, but the only thing that got close was directing the other vampires of New York. However, I consider that an obligation rather than a leisure activity.

"What?!" she exclaimed surprised "There must be something you like to do. What brings you a smile to your face? What do you yearn to do when you feel confused or tired?".

At her insist something occurred to me "I always liked to play with my little siblings, but I stopped when they died".

"I am... I shouldn't have bring it up" was the only thing she said, surprising me once more "I know that it wasn't the response you were expecting. But I know what it feels to have people you don't know telling you how sorry they are, even if they don't mean it".

"Do you read minds?" I asked her, cause the only thing she has been doing since I met her was to tell me what I was thinking.

"No" she chuckled "I am just a girl that lost her mother when she was six and knows the feeling" a dark look passed her face. But before I could say something to make her feel better, it disappeared and she spoke again "Let's get out of here" she stood up "I can see that you are not enjoying being here. I know a place that you might like".

She offered me her hand and I took it without a second thought. At that moment I knew that she had me wrapped around her finger.

 **It's like you're always there in the corners of my mind** **  
I see a silhouette every time I close my eyes  
There must be poison in those finger tips of yours  
Cause I keep comin' back again for more**

Oh oh oh...  
Trouble troublemaker, yeah  
That's your middlename  
Oh oh oh...  
I know you're no good but you're stuck in my brain  
And I wanna know

"A fair?" I asked her confused "What are we doing in a fair? This is a place for children".

"Now I can see why you don't enjoy more things" she commented "You are an old man in a teenage body who forgot how to live" she dragged me towards the car of cotton candy "It doesn't matter how old you are, if you like doing something keep on doing it. Never give up the things you love just because society things it is wrong. Only you get to decide what is right and what is not".

She flashed me one of her sweet smiles before ordering one cotton candy to the man. _She might act childlike but she is very wise. I better not make the mistake of underestimating her again,_ I thought to myself.

"Then let's go to the haunted house" I said and dragged her towards the place. I ignored her protests and smirked, knowing that she will spend the whole ride clinging to me. And that was what happened "Afraid of fake monsters señorita?".

"Stop mocking me!" she yelled at me with glittery eyes. _I was out of line_ "I told you I didn't like that place and you still force me to go there. The least you can do is not mock me" with that said she walked away.

"Damn it!" I cursed under my breath "What will I do now?" I asked myself.

 **Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad** **  
Oh oh oh...  
My mind keeps saying  
Run as fast as you can  
I say I'm done but then you pull me back  
Oh oh oh...  
I swear you're giving me a heart attack  
Troublemaker**

Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad  
Oh oh oh...  
My mind keeps saying  
Run as fast as you can  
Troublemaker  
I say I'm done but then you pull me back  
Oh oh oh...

 **I swear you're giving me a heart attack** **  
Troublemaker**

"You could win her a teddy bear" a man's voice replied. I didn't notice that I was standing by the hammer game "The girls love when their boyfriend wins them one, especially in a strength game".

"I'll play" I told the man a d paid for a turn.

I knew that the man thought it would be impossible for me to win and was trying to gain easy money. That's why I will enjoy making him pay. Of course with my vampiric powers I won easily and got a huge pink teddy bear.

However, when I turned around I found a a little girl looking at the bear longingly. This was my chance to make señorita stop hating me, but this little girl reminded me to my little sister so much that I couldn't stop the next words leaving my mouth "Take it" she did as I ordered her and left giggling, but before she gave me a huge hug. _I can always win another_ , I thought to myself and smiled at the retreating back of the little girl.

"You know, you should smile more. It makes you look more handsome" señorita's voice told me from behind. I turned around and found her smiling at me. _Well, it looks like she isn't angry at me anymore_ "I didn't like pink anyways and I am sure that that little girl will enjoy the teddy bear more than me" she wrapped her arms around one of mine and said "My name is Katherine, it's a pleasure to meet you Raphael".

"The pleasure is all mine, Katherine" I told her and let her drag me around the place.

I never had so much fun... not since I got turned into a vampire. So I kept on visiting her every night that I was in Idris, trying to get those stupid nephilimes to listen to us. And each night I feel more in love with Katherine, and I was almost sure that it wasn't possible to love someone as much as I loved her.

Although I was having so much fun, I knew that one day I would have to tell her goodbye. If it wasn't the long distance, it will be her death. And that saddened me, a lot.

 **Maybe I'm insane** **  
Cause I keep doing the same damn thing  
Thinking one day we gon' change  
But you know just how to work that back  
And make me forget my name  
What the hell you do I won't remember  
I'll be gone until November  
And you'll show up again next summer, yeah!  
Typical middle name is Prada  
Fit you like a glove girl  
I'm sick of the drama  
You're a troublemaker  
But damn girl it's like I love the trouble  
And I can't even explain why**

"Raphael!" she jumped on me and cried on my chest, one night that I came to visit her "I hate her! I hate her so much!".

"Katherine calm down" I told her softly kissing her temple. When she had finally calmed down, I asked her "What is wrong?".

"Do you remember the first night we met?" she asked me. _Of course I do! I will never forget any of the moments we lived together_ I thought but only nodded my head "You asked me who made me so angry, the answer is my father and step-mother. Since mom died, dad ignored me completely. He just gave me money and then spent all the time in business travels. One day he met a hot young and horrible bitch and married her. That is when all the trouble really began. Whenever I tried to talk with my father and tell him how sad I was, she enters and makes me look as the bad girl. She even got my father to accede to move here, making me leave behind the only friend and family I had".

"Your brother".

"Yes" she began crying in my chest again.

"Come with me" I offered her without thinking. She looked at me mirroring my surprise. _No reason to go back now_ "You can stay in New York with me, I have enough free space for you and a lot of more people. There is where your brother is, doesn't he?".

"I can't do that Raphael. What about school? Or money? I can't let your family support me" she replied.

"My family is dead and don't worry about money, I'm rich" I told her "Katherine... I am a vampire. Supernatural creatures exist and they are everywhere" she looked at me as if I was crazy. So I showed her my fangs and noticed in shock that she didn't retreat in fear, but gaze at me in curiosity "I will explain you everything but right now I just need to know if you want to come with me. If you want to be like me. Because I am in love with you, Katherine. And I don't want to live without you in my life".

"Yes" she said softly "Yes! Of course I accept!" this time she spoke louder and hugged me tighter "I love you too Raphael. And I want to be a vampire, so I can stay with you forever" I spun her around in happiness "Just let me get my things and write my dad a goodbye letter" she told me when I put her down.

When she was ready I took her to the place where a warlock was waiting for me to open a portal "What is a mundane doing here?" he questioned me.

"She won't be a mundane for much longer" I told him and leaned down to kiss her neck "Draw a portal to New York" the warlock just nodded and got to work "Are you ready?" I asked my lover.

"More than I'll ever be" she replied and kissed me for the first time.

 _I really have to thank Lily. Cause she was the one that brought Katherine to me. And she is the best thing that ever happened to me in my immortal life._

 **Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad** **  
Oh oh oh...  
My mind keeps saying  
Run as fast as you can  
Troublemaker  
I say I'm done but then you pull me back  
Oh oh oh...  
I swear you're giving me a heart attack  
Troublemaker**

Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad  
Oh oh oh...  
My mind keeps saying  
Run as fast as you can  
Troublemaker  
I say I'm done but then you pull me back  
Oh oh oh...  
I swear you're giving me a heart attack  
Troublemaker

*señorita (Spanish) = lady (English)


	5. Untitled

***WARNING* Hi everyone! This is the finished chapter but I have no idea of what song could fit on it. So I am asking for help to find the right lyrics to it. Can you give me some ideas?**

I frown as soon as I noticed that I was in bed alone. I know that Alec as a shadowhunter always wakes up early and has to leave for training. Nowadays, he does that more frequently because he started training Sally. However it doesn't matter how early it is, my sweet pea always wakes me up to say goodbye. That's why finding him gone, without telling me, confused me.

Suddenly the sound of glass breaking startled me, jumping off the bed and summoning some clothes on me, I ran towards the living room ready to curse whoever broke into my home.

"Maldita sea!*" hearing my boyfriend cursing in Spanish stopped me in my footsteps.

"Alec?" I asked him softly. When I entered the room I gasped at the scene: my dear boyfriend was on his knees, with broken glass all around him. His phone was on the floor, next to the broken mirror, broken and leaning against the wall "What in Lilith's name happened here?!" I exclaimed surprised and concerned.

"Magnus? Did I wake you up?" asked me Alec in an almost inaudible whisper "Sorry. I just..." his voice broke at the end and began crying.

"Oh! Alec!" I ran to his side and took him in my arms. I cradled his head with my hands against my chest and murmured sweet nonsense into his ear, so he would calm down. After a few minutes of doing this, my love finally stopped crying "Are you fine now sweet pea?" I asked him softly, not wanting to startle him.

"I am... I'll get there" his answer made me worry even more. _What could have gotten him so worked out?_ I asked myself in my head. But when I was about to start questioning him, Max began bawling "I'll get that".

"No, you won't" I stated firmly and strictly "You better clean that hand soon, before it gets infected, and put an iratze on the wound. When I get back, from calming our son down, I will finish healing it and you will start explaining why my favorite mirror got turn into shreds" I ordered him and turned around before he could protest "Hey there little one" I shushed, taking Max into my arms "There is nothing wrong, everything is perfect. Your daddy is just an id... he is complicated right now" I corrected myself before teaching my baby son a new word that would make Alec want to use me to practice his archery skills.

While I tried to calm Max down, I began thinking of what might be wrong with Alec. I had never seen him so angry before. The rage in his voice and eyes when I found him on the floor was so... not-Alec. If I didn't know and love my sweet pea so much, I would have been scared to death by him. And the way he broke down in tears later, the only time I've seen them like that was when Max (his brother) died and later when he found me in hell.

 _Wait a minute! Could it be that Isabelle is dead?!_ I thought having a small panic attack. I worked quicker into calming my son down and when he finally returned to sleep again, I rushed towards the living room. Only to find out that Alce had done has I told him, plus putting the broken mirror and phone in the trash, and having a heated conversation with an unknown someone on the line phone.

"Como puede ser que seas tan estúpida!**" I recoiled at the anger I could sense behind those crude words, crude words that Alec normally never use. But what shocked me the most was the concern and love hidden underneath the anger. My sweet pea only used that tone of voice with Isabelle, golden boy, Max or/and me "Por qué siempre tenes que hacer cosas alocadas y ponerme los nervios de punta?!***" but as he continued talking in Spanish I knew he wasn't talking to any of his siblings, which worried me even more. _Who was he talking to? Why didn't he mention someone he cares about so much before? What is he hiding from me?_ My brain continued shooting question after question in panic, but forced myself to breath and calm down as soon as I noticed it happening "Ah! Tan solo... la proxima vez abisame antes de tomar una desición como esa. Sabes que casi me da un paro cardiaco cuando tu papá llamo preguntandome si estabas aqui?****" my boyfriend sighed resigned and smiled a bit "Si, si. Hasta pronto, Gatita. No te metas en problemas y mantente asalvo. Adios!*****" he raised his look from the house phone and locked gazes with me, suddenly he began to play with the hem of his sweater nervously "Hey Mags... what was wrong with Max?".

"He woke up by a loud noise and got scared" I answered harshly, not caring that my boyfriend flinched at the blunt accusation.

I would normally be very careful not to hurt or pressure Alec in any way, knowing how relationships are a new thing for him and I am the only person he had ver been with. But right now I was fuming, he was keeping secrets from me and the last time he did that I had to go through the worst time of my entire life.

"Sorry" he muttered under his breath, guilt soaking his tone.

"Start speaking then!" I demanded "What happened? Is it a shadowhunter matter? Or something else?".

"This is everything but a shadowhunter matter" he replied snorting "When I was eight years old I met a girl... a mundane girl. We formed a deep friendship that day, I consider her my best friend" I raised one eyebrow surprised at his confession.

 _A mundane girl? Nephilim always tend to avoid humans, they think of them as inferior. I should have known that Alec wouldn't care about stuff like that. If he is dating me and adopted a warlock as his son, he could be friends with a mundane._ I thought proudly of my sweet pea.

"What about blondy? Isn't he your friend?" I questioned him a bit confused but in glee too. I would love to see that cocky idiot's face when I tell him that his dear brother considers a mundane girl to be his best friend instead of him.

"Jace is my parabatai, that's a complete different story" Alec explained to me with an amused small smile, probably knowing what I was thinking. The look on his eyes was easy to read: Don't you dare "As I was telling you, she turned to be my best friend. We did everything together: she helped me to train, I helped her to study, we talked whenever someone felt sad... we were there for each other all the time. I even confessed to her that I was gay, she was the first one and only one until the moment I kissed you in the Accords Hall".

"You care about her that much?!" I explained surprised and a bit jealous.

I never expected a shadowhunter to respect and trust a mundane so much, the only moment I saw something similar was with Charlotte and Sophie. Of course, my boyfriend would be another exception. He really is making a huge change in the society and making a name for himself. Also, knowing that someone held such trust from Alec, who isn't family or me, made me boil in jealousy.

"Yes, I do. But that's not the problem, the problem is that her father just called telling me that she had disappeared. I knew the man turned into a jerk since his wife died but that he didn't notice that his daughter went missing for a whole week" the hate in his voice and eyes was so strong that it almost made me take a step back "That is what got me so angry, Magnus. My best friend has gone missing and his father could care less, about what could happen to her".

"I could make a localization spell" I offered almost by instinct "Do you have something of hers?".

"Thank you, Mags" he flashed me a grateful smile, full of love, which made my heart skip a beat "But she just called, she told me that she escaped her family cause they had passed the line and she couldn't stand being near them anymore" Alec stood up and walked to my side, so he could wrap me in his arms "She is staying at her boyfriend's place. She is safe, which makes me feel more comfortable. Knowing that she still is in Barcelona safe and sound, far from all the problems New York has been having... is a blessing for me. However, I wish she could meet you and Max. She would be such a cool aunt, she always loved children after all".

"Alec..." I murmured under my breath, touched by his words "I love you so much, sweet pea" I told him and dragged him into a passionate kiss. A kiss that was interrupted when the apartment's phone began ringing "Crap! Who is it now?!".

"Calm down, Mags" told me Alec with an amused chuckle, before pecking my lips shortly "It is surely Jace or Isabelle, waiting to yell at me for not being at the Institute yet to train Simon. I should have been there half an hour ago".

"Well, they should have understood that you have more family now. You have already explained to them that sometimes you are going to be late, cause you have to take care of your amazing boyfriend and our sweet little blueberry muffin" I teased him, sliding my arms around his neck to drag him for another kiss.

However, he just broke free from my grip and went to answer the phone "Lightwood-Bane's home" I stopped smiling when I heard Alec talking, hearing our last names together always makes me feel dizzy. But in the good way, as if I had start seeing black after too many orgasms "Dad?... I broke my phone, sorry... What... no... really?!... Have they lost their minds!... Of course we will be there... I think that Max is coming with us... I don't think that leaving him alone is the best thing to do right now...see you" with that he ended the conversation. From what I have heard I couldn't be more confused, and from the wide eye look on my boyfriend's face he was confused too "The Clave and the governments of each downworlder had organized a meeting".

"Really? That isn't strange, so why did you react like that?" I asked him, now more confused than before.

"Dad told me that they didn't just gathered some of each group but called everyone" my eyes widened at his words "They want to held a tournament, to see who is better at each field. Like the Olympics there will be some representatives of each group that will compete against each other for the first, second and third place. It will be filmed and transmitted by an especial channel, made for this occasion. I was selected to be a participant in the archery competition and you, Magnus, to compete into the knowledge challenge".

"Knowledge challenge?" I asked fearful of the answer and what all this event might mean for the accords.

"Demonology, history, cultures, art and those are only some of the topics" he replied "Mags... this can be the end of the peace between downworlders and shadowhunters. The competitive spirit, the pride and greed will only end up fueling the hate and rancor they feel for each other. Who the hell had that idea?!".

"There are a lot of people who don't accept the peace that's going on, the changes we had made lately... they surely will want to sabotage this event and blame the downworlders, or the other way around" I explained. A thought suddenly occurred to me, a thought that made my blood run cold "What if... what if they kidnap Max and use him as a hostage to make us do the dirty work for them?".

"That is why he is coming with us, we will never take the eyes off him. Also, we will tell the Consul our thoughts about the matter. She will take our ideas into account, after all she appreciate us. So don't worry Mags, everything will be fine".

He held me close and started whispering sweet nonsense, as I did with Max earlier. But the only difference is that I didn't calm down, not when I knew that this kind of things always end up destroying peace. After all I wasn't chosen for the knowledge challenge for nothing.

*Maldita sea (Spanish) = Dammit (English).

**Como puedes ser que seas tan estúpida?! (Spanish) = How can you be so stupid?! (English).

***Por qué siempre tenes que hacer cosas alocadas y ponerme los nervios de punta?! (Spanish) = Why do you always have to do crazy things and pit me on edge (English).

****Ah! Tan solo... la proxima vez abisame antes de tomar una desición como esa. Sabes que casi me da un paro cardiaco cuando tu papá llamo preguntandome si estabas aqui? (Spanish) = Ah! Just... the next time tell me before taking such a decision like that. Did you know that I almost had a panic attack when your dad called asking me if you were here? (English).

*****Si, si. Hasta pronto, Gatita. No te metas en problemas y mantente asalvo. Adios! (Spanish) = Yes, yes. Se you soon, Kitten. Don't get into trouble and stay safe. Bye! (English).


	6. Walk like a champion

"I understand what you want me to do, Alexander. But putting shadowhunters to patrol around will only damage the relationship we have with downworlder, when this event should do the opposite" the Consul explained to me.

"But if we do nothing, then there will be no relationship to fix!" I exclaimed, frustrated that no one could see what I am trying to say.

"Enough!" she demanded angrily. I stopped speaking immediately, it was the only time that she spoke like that to me. Surely it had to be the pressure she has by organizing the event, plus the objections of many Nephilim that are against the Accords, but that doesn't make her less fearful "No, is no. There is nothing else to discuss here, so please leave".

Not wanting to provoke her rage further, I did as I was ordered and headed towards the Lightwood manor. Magnus, Max and I, plus the rest of my family, Clary and Simon, were staying there for as long as the event lasted. None of them will like what Penthouse decided but one thing I know is that we will show everyone what we are made of... we will win the event and the fight against the ones that want to destroy what we fight so hard to achieve.

 **Walk like a champion, talk like a champion  
Rum pa pa pam pa, rum pa pa pam pa  
Walk like a champion, talk like a champion  
Rum pa pa pam pa, rum pa pa pam pa**

 **Tonight we come alive  
Stand up cause you got that pride  
Dancin' and the sweat don't dry  
Once shot, so baby hit it right  
No doubt 'cause we're young and free  
Walk like you run the city  
Write your name in the sky  
Live it up, cause baby it's your time**

 **It's in the way you hold yourself,  
He gotta know you're something else,  
And show 'em that you've never felt so sexy sexy sexy**

On my way towards the Lightwood manor I couldn't stop myself from freaking out. My son could be in danger and there was nothing I could do to protect him.

 _Come on Lightwood, that is no way to be talking!_ I encouraged myself mentally. _It is like that time when you thought that the faeries would be damned, but you found a way to turn the tables around. This isn't that much different, I will find a way. For peace, for my family, Magnus and especially for my son_.

During my small encouraging speech mental speech, I didn't notice a shadowhunter woman stopping me on my place.

"Hi!" she spoke up gaining my attention.

She was a tall slim tanned skin woman, but not as tall as me, with short straight blonde-brownish hair and green eyes. She was the definition of breathtaking, although for me Magnus still was more handsome than her. But I still have eyes to notice other kind of beauty, even if it is in a woman.

"Hi, can I help you with something?" I asked her, confused at why she was talking to me. After all I had never seen this shadowhunter before.

"My name is Lucy Branwell, my mother Lydia Branwell is the head of the Institute of Paris" she presented himself.

Now that she spoke more I could notice the thick French accent in her voice.

"I am Alexander Gideon Lightwood, my father is the Inquisitor and my mother is the head of the New York Institute" I presented myself formally.

"Soon to be Lightwood-Bane for what I've heard" she added slyly and giggling at my shock face "Rumors travel fast when they are about one of the most powerful warlocks on earth, the High Warlock of Brookline to say the least, and the ambassador of downworlders" she explained and chuckled when my expression turned from shock to embarrassment "I have also heard that they are planning to create a small court, in each country, focused into resolving problems between werewolves, vampires, witches, warlocks, faeries and shadowhunters. But first the Consul want to test if it will work well and not end up with more fighting".

"What does that have to do with me?" I questioned her more confused than before.

"It has to do with you because the court that they are planning will have a judge from each group and one of them will be the one that holds the last word. The test court they are planning to do will be in New York and will have Catarina for the children of Lilith, Lily for the children of the night, Maia for the children of the moon, Kelly for the faeries and you will be the champion that will represent us and have the last word" she explained to me with a cocky smirk on her face.

My head was going wild trying to process what she had just told me. It was too much for one day, plus what happened with Penhallow... I just needed time to breath in peace. I needed to get away from there and fast.

"Excuse me Miss Branwell, but if you don't need something from me then we could meet later to chat. Right now I have to get to the Lightwood manor for a family meeting" I apologized, only to be stopped by her hand on my arm... again.

I turned around to glare at her ready to make her listen to, I was in no mood right now so I was very angry. But it all went away when I saw the sadness in her eyes and her defeated posture, all her cheeky attitude gone.

"I am in desperate need of you help, Mister Lightwood" she confessed to me, at the edge of breaking down.

Concerned for her well being, Nephilim never begged for anything after all, I guided her to a more secluded area of the park and listened to her.

 **Walk like a champion, talk like a champion**  
 **Rum pa pa pam pa, rum pa pa pam pa**  
 **(Repeat x3)**

 **We got nothing to lose, we got nothing to prove  
Shine like diamonds in the sky  
Live it up 'cause baby it's your time**

 **It's in the way you hold yourself,**  
 **He gotta know you're something else,**  
 **And show 'em that you've never felt so sexy sexy sexy**

"Alec! Sweet pea you took your time" Magnus ambushed me as soon as I crossed the doors of the Lightwood manor, and gave me a bear hug "What took you so long?".

"I... there was someone that needed my help in my way back here" I answered him, trying to leave out as much as I could from Lucy.

I was still stunned and shaken by her request. _How could she ask that from me?! From anyone?!_ I thought shocked and a bit repulsed.

"Such a lovely person like always, darling" Magnus's comment made me wince in guilt but luckily he didn't notice "So what happened? Will they follow our advice?" he asked with so much hope that I felt horrible for failing him

"No, they won't. Because they think that it would taint our relationship with downworlders" I told him and looked down when I saw his happiness leaving his beautiful golden cat eyes.

 _Why didn't I fight more? Why do I always have to fail the ones I love?_ I blamed myself over and over again inside my head until two arms wrapped around me, bringing me back from my trance.

"Don't blame yourself, sweet pea" he commanded in soft voice "It is Penhallow's fault for not believing in us, in you. Even after you kept on proving her, and everyone, that you are always right".

"I am not always right, Mags" I protested with a slight blush... well a bright red blush that covered my whole face, not that it was something I'll ever admit. Although my reactions at his comment, a small smile was plastered on my face and there was nothing that could take it off.

"Always so modest, Alec" he whispered in my ear, I could feel him smirking against the skin of my neck "And that is why I love you so much" with that said he stole a kiss from my lips before dragging me towards the library, where everyone was waiting to know how things would proceed.

 **Walk like a champion, talk like a champion**  
 **Rum pa pa pam pa, rum pa pa pam pa**  
 **(Repeat x3)**

 **Biddy bum, biddy bum, biddy bay,**  
 **Biddy biddy bum, biddy bum, biddy day,**  
 **Biddy bum, biddy bum biddy day,**  
 **Biddy biddy bum biddy bum biddy bay**  
 **Walk like a champion, Talk like a champion,**

 **Stand up let 'em know that you shine bright**  
 **Throw down let em know that you got fight**  
 **(Walk like a champion, walk-walk-walk like a champion)**

"So what are we going to do?" asked me Isabelle after Jace took (more likely stole) Max from her arms "We can't let some stupid bastards ruin everything we had been working for".

"We will all compete in the competition that we were chosen for, we can't let anyone else know that we suspicious about the whole event" I began explaining. A voice at the back of my head asking 'when did it become normal for me to direct my family and they to obey?'. But I just blocked it away and continued speaking "In the meanwhile we will search for any clue that might show us who is behind it all and keep Max under protection at all times".

"Ok!" they all replied.

"Then tomorrow Magnus will have to watch over Max and the rest of us looking for clues, while Alec is participating in the archery contest" stated Jace. I looked at him surprised at his words, this were news for me "You didn't know? Alec, your contest is the first one".

Suddenly the atmosphere was tense and everyone looked at me with worried eyes "Alec..." started Magnus, tone laced with concern.

"I will be fine, Mags" I told him and kissed his cheek swewtly, trying to comforting as much as I could without freaking my parents out. They finally accepted me but I still didn't want to play with my luck "I will be careful..." I looked at everyone around the table with a determined gaze "... and I will show them what Lightwood's are made of".

They all smirked at me and nodded their head.

 _Whoever you are watch out that we are coming for you!_

 **Stand up let em know that you shine bright**  
 **Throw down let em know that you got fight**  
 **And show 'em that you've never felt so sexy, sexy, sexy**

 **Walk like a champion, talk like a champion**  
 **Rum pa pa pam pa, rum pa pa pam pa**  
 **(Repeat x3)**

 **Biddy bum, biddy bum, biddy bay,**  
 **Biddy biddy bum, biddy bum, biddy day,**  
 **Biddy bum, biddy bum biddy day,**  
 **Biddy biddy bum biddy bum biddy bay**  
 **Walk like a champion, talk like a champion**


	7. I'm gonna do my own thing

"Downworlders and Nephilim! Welcome to the first Shadow World's Championship!" Penhallow announced loudly.

She was standing in middle of the park, where we celebrated our victory against Valentine a year ago. Behind her were placed big screens, enchanted by warlocks to be able to see what was going on around Idris. Cause each challenge of the Championship was going to happen in different places of Idris.

Everyone was in their places on the terraces that were placed for this occasion. Well... everyone but Isabelle, Clary, Simon, Dad, Mom, some Consul members (that were behind the Consul), the ones that were competing in the archery challenge and me.

Magnus was in the terraces with Max in his arms, someone needed to look after the little one just in case he was being target. I already lost a little brother, I wasn't going to let anyone take my nephew away from me.

 _I will reap anyone apart if they even try!_ I growled in my head angrily.

"Today's contest will be the archery contest" the Consul continued speaking firmly "The participants will be placed in different parts of the forest, in the outskirts of town. They will have to hunt down demons, animals and targets. Their objective might be in the air, on earth, under the water, unmoving or moving" everyone cheered excitedly.

 _Tch! That will be a kid's game to Alec._ I exclaimed in my head cockily. _He will win surely! Not that I didn't believe it before, now I just am more sure than before._

"But there are going to be a lot of hidden tramps all over the forest" Robert picked up for Penhallow. My face paled when I noticed the grim look on my father's face "Tramps that are very dangerous and will be hard to pass them or even notice them. Even for a trained shadowhunter!".

The crowd cheered louder, showing what sadists and wicked beast they are. I, on the other hand, began to curse and pray for Raziel in my head, because I knew why father added that. It wasn't for exciting the crowd, it was to warn all of us that Alec was in great danger.

My parabatai, my brother, my best friend, my platonic soul mate was in great danger. He might even die and I was here doing nothing!

"They will be alright Jace, both Max and Alec" my fiancé's voice brought me back from my dark thoughts "Everything will be fine" I turned around and smiled brightly at her, my mood finally settling.

 _After all who was I to not believe in Clary's words?_ I thought happily. _She always speaks the truth._

If only I knew what would happen afterwards.

 **You're not the police**  
 **You're not the president**  
 **You're not the p-p-pope**  
 **And it's evident**

 **So maybe you should let me be**

 **I'm gonna do my thing**  
 **I'm gonna do my thing**  
 **I'm gonna do my thing**

[Kaboom!]

I winced internally as that sound came again, and looked up to see who activated the bombs this time. The other time it was a warlock, who luckily was capable of using his magic as a shield. This time it was a werewolf, she wasn't as luckily as he was. She was disqualified and immediately taken care of by Catarina and a silent brother that were nearby. Another Kaboom sounded but this time it was different.

"Look at the sky!" pointed out Clary in a strangled kind of voice.

I looked up and noticed the image of the werewolf and what kind of downworlder she was written in the clouds. **** ** _(A/N: I know this is very not original, but I just couldn't resist. It was right there and I had to do it)_**.

"What is this? Some kind of bizarre interpretation of The Hunger Games?!" exclaimed the ex-bloodsucker in astonishment and annoyance.

"Hunger what?" questioned Izzy confused and if you were hearing really close, you would have been able to notice a edge of fear in her tone.

I hated this uncertainty of not knowing if my brother, my best-friend, _my parabatai_ was about to be killed and not being able to be there and defend him.

"It is a famous book series" answered Clary grimacing "Each time that someone died inside the fighting coliseum **_(A/N: I don't know what else to call it)_** that same sound rang through the whole place, then a picture of the dead one appeared in the sky. However, this happened at night afterwards a lot of deaths".

When Clary finished her explanation I was gripping my parabatai rune as if it was about to vanish in any moment "Relax Jace" tried to calmed me down my fiancé, even when I turned to glare at her.

I knew that I would hate myself and feel so guilty for taking my anger on her, but right now I could only think about Alec and how impotent I was feeling.

"Look!" she ordered me, forcing my face into the big screen "The werewolf is perfectly fine, just a bit banged. Alec will be fine... no, he will be more than fine" it was her time to glare. But it was not from anger as me, it was from determination "He will win the archery challenge" she promised me "Trust him!".

I stood frozen in shock by her little speech. And I knew that she was right... like always.

"Ok" I finally replied when I found my voice "I will calm down and trust Alec"

"Good" she sighed and turned back to watch out for someone or something suspicious.

 _How could I have ever doubted Alec... or Clary?_ I thought letting me hope that everything will be fine... no, I didn't hope cause I knew that everything will be fine.

 _After all, we went through hell. Some racist idiots won't win against us. Would they?_ I asked myself in my head.

 **You're not my doctor**  
 **You're not my hand to hold**  
 **You're not the CIA**  
 **I can't be bought and sold**

 **I'm gonna do my thing**  
 **I'm gonna do my thing**  
 **I'm gonna do my thing**

 **Can't you see that you cannot control the man I am**  
 **I am not a puppet on your string**  
 **So maybe you should check yourself before you tell me what you think of me**  
 **If I'm too hot to handle baby**  
 **Drop the heat**  
 **Cause this is me**

Suddenly a movement from my right caught my attention. I gazed at Clary who was looking right back at me with a grim look, she noticed it too. I nodded and headed the way I saw the shadow-thing go, carefully to not draw attention to myself... which I think it is a first one in history.

 _After all, I am the most beautiful creature ever created._ I bragged in my head. _Why wouldn't people be drawn at me?_

The shadow was fast and had a grace that only a nephilim could manage. That's when it all finally sank, I was going to face a fellow shadowhunter, one of my own to save a peace that my brother worked so hard to reach. Alec went through sky and seas for the last year, trying to make the governments of all the groups of the shadow world listen. Sometimes he succeed... some other no. But he never gave up.

He achieved a peace treaty after the dark war, he made marriage and adoption valid for both sexes and for mix shadowhunter-downworlder relationships. His wedding was going to be the first one in history to be legal, in the eyes of the nephilim law, between two males _and_ between a shadowhunter and a warlock. He was the first nephilim to adopt a downworlder, and not a werewolf or vampire that were infected with demon blood, not a faerie that has angel blood to balance the demon essence in their veins, but a warlock that are considered the most evil and disgusting creatures under the views of the more conservative shadowhunters.

Alec made a change. He went through hell, and I am not talking of our little trip to pay a visit to Sebastian, but about everything our society had put him through. I might be a better fighter, I might have more angel blood in me, I might be more known and love... but Alec made a difference, he left his mark in our history. He is more than a simple good fighter (we have enough of them), he is a mediator, a politician, a dreamer. He is better than me, I had always known that and now everyone knows it as well.

He is Alexander Gideon Lightwood, a father, the voice of the weak ones and _my_ parabatai. And I will do anything to ensure his happiness, which he deserves so much, and that everything he worked survives... even if it means my life as a sacrifice.

So you would know my anger when I reached the meeting point that the shadow was going to, and heard what they were saying.

"Is everything ready?" the shadowhunter, which I was following, asked a woman ( _I think she is a werewolf)_ grumpily and impatiently.

"Cesar is ready. Whenever we get the sign he will activate the spell and Alexander Lightwood will cease to be a problem to us" she replied with an evil smirk.

My heart literally stopped beating. _No... no! Not my parabatai!_ my mind was screaming in desperation and anger. I looked at the screen that they placed nearby, to see what was happening in the coliseum, to only notice that Alec and the faerie representing of the wild hunt were left. They were facing each other, bows up and ready to fire in any moment.

"There won't a mediator of peace anymore, and war will rule in our world again" another nephilim added with dark chuckle "That is the sign. Tell Cesar to activate the spell now!".

"Not if I can stop you!" I exclaimed stepping outside of the shadows, my sword drawn and ready to fight. I knew that this wasn't the plan, not how we planned. _But when did I ever followed the rules?_ I scoffed in my head _I will do my own thing!_ "You will pay for trying to hurt my parabatai!" I promised and charged.

Both shadowhunters tried to stop me but they were the worst failures that the nephilim ever had, but not in the best capacity because they were in their forties, so I defeated him easily. Then I turned towards the werewolf, but the coward had already ran away. Leaving me only with the warlock, Cesar, to fight with. But the trickster used his magic to create smoke that distracted me enough to disappear with the two shadowhunters.

"Dam it!" I cursed under my breath "I didn't get any prisoner for a bargain chip and information! Alec will be angry, especially since I neither followed his plan or got what he wanted from us".

But my attention drifted towards the screen where Penhallow appeared with a huge smile announcing: Lady and gentlemen! We have a winner. Alexander Gideon Lightwood won the archery challenge!" a big smile appeared on my face "Let's cheer for our champion!".

A lot of cheers sounded from behind but I could only stare at the screen smiling at the scene in front of me. Alec and Magnus kissing with little Max in their arms. They are the picture of the perfect family... the image of true happiness.

I looked around me then down to my bloodied sword, and made a promise to myself, Alec and Raziel: "I promise by the angel that I will do everything I can to ensure your happiness Alec and the protection of your family".

With that said I turned around on my heels and headed back towards Clary, we still had a lot of work and planning to do. But now, we will celebrate the victory of my parabatai.

 **I'm gonna do my thing**

 **I'm gonna do my thing**

 **I'm gonna do my thing**

 **I'm gonna do my thing**

 **I'm gonna do my thing**

 **I'm gonna do my thing**

 **I'm gonna do my thing**

 **I'm gonna do my thing**

 **I'm gonna do my thing**

 **I'm gonna do my thing**


	8. Get it right

It's been two since the Games started, and with each day that it passed I was even more sure that the Lightwoods were the right family. You just needed to see their progress to notice it.

Maryce Lightwood is the head of the New York institute, Robert Lightwood is the Inquisitor and Isabelle Lightwood was a key player in both wars and got the thrid place in the whip competition. Simon Lovelace, in anytime becoming Lightwood by what the rumors were saying, was following Alexander's steps and raised awareness in the minds of the Academy's students. Also, he and his friend from his time at the Academy, George Lovelace, were the first gatherers of Nephelim in training. They had the mission to build the front lines of the Shadowhunters up again, but they, especially Simon and George, had the idea of also teaching the new generation about the ideas of Alexander Lightwood.

His parbatai, Clary Fairchild, was born with extra angel blood in her and with the unique ability of creating new runes. She also was one of the most essential players in both wars, not to mention that everyone is saying that her and her fiance, Jace Herondale, were going to become the next heads of the New York institute. She also got in third place at the runes challenge, only because the judges didn't accept the use of new runes, even if one of them saved their asses during the war against Valentine. I've never seen Jace so angry before, I thought that he would end up torching the judges with his angelical fire.

Talking about Jace Herondale, two things that are essential to mentioin are that he is the strongest Nephelim fo his generation and Alexander Lightwood's parabatai. He, as his fiance, has extra angelic blood in his veins but instead of having the especial ability of creating new runes he can use heavenly fire. He also won the sword fighting competition without breaking a sweat. As well as his protective streak over his family is as bad as his parabatai's, which really comforted me a bit more.

Alexander Gideon Lightwood, soon to be Lightwood-Bane, is the upcoming Nephelim star in the politic world of the Shadowhunters and Downworlders. He won the archery competition without problems, even as he was fighting against a faery of the wild hunt! He was chosen to be the lieder of a new plan to help mending relationships between the two parts of the Shadow's world. He was only twenty-one and he already participated as a key figure of two treaties and two wars!

Also, he was marrying Magnus Bane the High Warlock of Brookline, they formed on of the most powerful power couples. Magnus jas prooven himself time over time how strong and intelligent he is, especially when he ended up in first place at the knowledge competition. He has the power to protect those he loves and will do anything to make them happy. Let's not forget that they already have experience with kids, as they adopted little Max a year ago.

Yes, I was a bit unsure about leaving my little sun with a family with two warlocks but then I remembered all the things that Alexander has been trying to teach us and blushed in shame at my prejudice.

All this said I whish that my little sun will find happiness, love and protection in their home. I whish that he gets lucky, as the rest of the family, and gets a good parabatai. I whish that he grows in the light of the honor of the Lightwood household, whom, in my opinion, are at their peak right now. I just whish that Alexander can raise Rafael, my precious son, much better than I can.

 **What have I done?  
I wish I could run,  
Away from this ship going under  
Just trying to help  
Hurt everyone else  
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders**

 **What can you do when your good isn't good enough  
And all that you touch tumbles down?  
Cause my best intentions  
Keep making a mess of things,  
I just wanna fix it somehow  
But how many times will it take?  
Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?**

 _"What can I help you with Mrs. Branwell?" he has asked me, once he had gotten me to a more private place._

 _"My husband... he died during the dark war" I told him sadly, blinking away the tears that threatened to fall form my eyes._

 _"I am so sorry for your lost" he had told me like everyone else that found out about it, but unlike everyone else he had really meant it "But, what does that have to do with me?"._

 _"You see Mr. Lightwood..." I had begun but was interrupted by him._

 _"Please call me Alec, is my father and only Magnus, my mother and my dad call me Alexander"._ __

 _"Ok, Alec" I had replied with a grateful small smile "I didn't participate in the Dark War because I was pregnant, it was a boy" my grateful smile turned into a sad one "We were the only survivors of the Buenos Aires institute, ever since we've moved to my mother's. I raised Rafael Santiago on my own for three years, I tried to do my best but... it isn't enough" I had confessed depressed._

 _"Rafael Santiago? Like the New York's clan leader?" he had asked surprised._

 _"No" I had laughed amused, and was surprises at noticing I haven't donde that for a long time "My husband wanted to gift our with the name of an angel, we both agreed on Raphael but in Argentina is translated as Rafael. Then I decided to also give him the name of his deceased father, Santiago"._

 _"I get it, I... we named Max after my little brother. He was killed by Sebas... Jonathan (Morgenstern)" he as told me, with a kind and understanding smile. One that made me as if I wasn't alone "What do you mean by 'it isn't enough'?" he had asked slowly and a bit afraid of the answer, at that moment I knew that he knew where this was going and that I've made the right choice at choosing him._

 _"I can't look at him without breaking down into tears Alec" I had told him my deepest secret, gazing down to forget his shocked gaze "He reminds me so much of my late husband that it pains me to be near him. That is not a life my little sun deserves to have, and neither do I. The other day he asked me if I hated him, do you know what it feels for a mother to live through that?!" I was at the edge of crying but I didn't, I had shown enough weakness already._

 _"You are asking me to take your son from you" he stated, his tone clearly hinted that he couldn't believe what he was hearing._

 _"No, I am asking you to adopt my son. He needs a loving family that protects him and gives him the attention he deserves" I had replied, shaking my head "Also, even though you had adopted Max and he is your son" I specified not wanting to get into his bad side "You still need a Nephilim child to continued with the Lightwood name"._

 _"Do you have the slightest idea of what you are asking?!" he had exclaimed, his calm facade finally breaking._

 _"I know that is a lot but... please I need your help and I am sure that you are the best option for my little sun" I was so close to begging._

 _"He won't be yours anymore if I accept" he had replied, shutting me up " He would be Mangus' and my son, do you understand that? You'll have to refuse in paper any legal authority you have over Rafael, we will demand that you never see him again. It will be very confusing for him any other way. You will be giving your son away, no take backs involved. Do you understand that?"._

 _"I... I do" I had answered that meaningful day "But as I said, he deserves better. I am trying to do the best for him Alec, you might not see it yet but I am thinking for his well being. I already lost my husband, I have no desire of losing my son too. However, I won't risk his happiness for mine"._

 _"You... you are a good mother Lucy" he had told me, I had to swallow a sob at his words._

 _"A parent must know about sacrifice, Alec" I had replied "I am not demanding an answer now, go to your fiance and discuss this with him. Please, just think about it" with that said I turned around and walked away, not letting him speak a word at me_.

 **Can I start again, with my faith shaken?**

 **Cause I can't go back and undo this**

 **I just have to stay and face my mistakes,**

 **But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this**

 **What can you do when your good isn't good enough?**

 **And all that you touch tumbles down?**

 **Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,**

 **I just wanna fix it somehow**

 **But how many times will it take?**

 **Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?**

That was two weeks ago. I kept in touch with Alexander ever since, sending him pictures of Rafael and letter telling him about my little sun. How smart he is at being able to speak two languages, French and Spanish, and that he won't have any problem with learning English rapidly. How much he loved singing and that he wanted to learn to play a guitar, a trait that according to Alexander they both shared. I was in extasis when he confessed that to me, Rafael finally will have someone to teach him play the guitar and to sing with.

I especially spent a lot of time writing him about how my son worshipped him. At the beginning Alexander didn't believe me, so I arranged to 'accidently' bump into him while I was taking my little sun for a walk. Rafael went crazy in excitement, jumping with a big smile and exclaiming how a big hero Alexander was to him. I could see at that moment that Rafael had won the heart of Alec, they spent the afternoon together and even had ice-cream together.

He had confessed to me that day that he still hasn't talked to Magnus about my preposition, and even if they accepted it this wasn't the right moment. Then he told me about the mixed group of Nephelim, faeries, werewolves, vampires and children of Lilith working together to begin another war between us. He told me their suspicions that they might kidnap Max to blackmail them, and if they add Rafael to the equation won't be the safest option.

I then offered my help to him, it wasn't only the right thing to do but also the least I could do for him after what I was asking from him. But the last thing I expected during my plan to give a better life to my son, was a very angry warlock at my doorstep.

"Hi Mr. Bane, what can I do for you?" I said with a calm facade, in reality I was shivering in nervousness.

The last thing I needed is him telling me that he'll never accept a Nephelim as a son or him cursing me.

"Leave my fiance alone!" he demanded, not even bothering to make it a request.

"Mr. Bane please you need to understand that..." I tried to to reason with him but he just cut me off with an angry growl.

"What you don't understand is that you are getting into a family! Your actions are trying to divide us which I won't let happen!".

"I might be doing that..." I looked at the floor, tears of shame stinging my eyes as I thought of all the problems I'm causing to Alexander.

He has enough weight on his shoulders already with trying to keep the Nephelim and the Downworlders together, fixing their relationships, his wedding and raising his son. However, then the image of Rafael came into my mind and I remembered that I was doing this for my son.

"But you have to admit that I can give him something that you can't" I snapped back, determined and not even a bit sorry for what I was going to say next "I can give him a heir that can carry the Lightwood name. Even if you were female that will never be possible because of your infertility".

His anger seemed to duplicate, but not only that I noticed something new... pain.

"He... we have Max. He can carry on the Lightwood name for the eternity" he replied cockiky, but I knew that he was acting that confidence that I was able to raise the insecurities that he has been trying to hid so much.

"But he is a warlock, he can't give Alexander the pride of fighting side by side against demons that a Shadowhunter can" I said.

I knew that I had made all his nightmares true but not caring the slightest. Never get between a mother and the well being of her child, their nothing scarier that that kind of rage.

Without another words I turned around and slammed the door on his face, praying to Raziel that Alexander doesn't decide to cut all kinds of communications with Rafael and me because of this.  
 **  
So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air,**

 **And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair!**

 **Yeah, I'll send out a wish, yeah, I'll send up a prayer**

 **And finally someone will see how much I care**

 **What can you do when your good isn't good enough?**

 **And all that you touch tumbles down?**

 **Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,**

 **I just wanna fix it somehow**

 **But how many times will it take?**

 **Oh, how many times will it take, to get it right?**

 **To get it right?**

Luckily he didn't. The complete opposite really, a few days later they both came to visit, Magnus and Alexander. At the beginning I was afraid that they had come to refuse my offer and shout at me for my behaviour of the previous day. However, that never happened.

What really happened was a huge misunderstanding, one so big that I laughed myself into tears. The real reason behind Magnus' anger wasn't that Rafael is a Nephelim, but that he thought I was trying to seduce Alexander into my bed and my life.

When everything was resolved Magnus asked to meet Rafael, he as his fiance loved my little sun at first sight. They soon began to discuss with me the terms of the adoption, admitting that they had already discusses getting another child but not so soon. But that didn't mean that they would let such a good opportunity slip away.

There were no words yo describe my happiness because I've finally found the right family for my son. But also the sadness I was feeling because I was about to lose my little sun. However, it was all for the best.

At the end we decided to start with all the paper work after the Games, while I had to begin explaining to Rafael why he wasn't going to see me ever again.

That night I let myself cry at the thought of never seeing my child again, but slept assured that he'll finally have what he deserved.


	9. Superman

Alec... he's always been my hero. The one I look up to and use as a role model. Of course I've never told him that, even when I knew that he needed those words to bust his confidence up. Not because I was ashamed of him or my feelings, but because it would only end up making him try even harder into becoming perfect.

I believe that this is his fatal flaw: The objective of becoming perfect. However, it's never for him but for the others. The perfect son, the perfect big brother, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect father, the perfect friend, the perfect parabatai, the perfect politician and the perfect soldier.

Always for others and never for himself...

That's why I never wanted him to know this little secret I keep for myself that we all kept for ourselves: Jace, Max and me. We didn't desire him to have another pressure on his shoulders; we didn't want him to prove himself anymore. Because we never needed a superman, we just needed an Alec.

And right now, he needs me... but I don't have the slightest idea of how to help him.

 **If I could break away half of all your pain**

 **I'd take the worst of it and carry you like you carry me**

 **You say that you're alright when tears are in your eyes**

 **We're strong enough for this and I need you**

 **It's okay that you need me**

 **So put your armor on the ground tonight**

 **Cause everyone's got to come down sometimes**

 **You don't have to be Superman**

 **You don't have to be Superman**

 **You don't have to hold the world in your hands**

 **You've already shown me that you can**

 **Don't have to be Superman**

"Magnus!" I exclaimed surprised, when I saw him enter the Lightwood manor with a giddy expression after disappearing for five hours with my big brother. What scared me the most were the big fight that both of them had before leaving, I still can hear the crying of a very agitated Max "Where were you? And where is Alec?" I demanded to know.

"We went to the Branwell manor" he replied smoothly surprising me with his unexpected answer "Lucy, Lydia Branwell's daughter, wants us to adopt his son Rafael!" he announced happily "We just sealed the deal with her, we are adopting a little Nephilim after the Games are finished!".

"Really?!" I exclaimed in ecstasy "I'll have another little nephew to train to kick some demon asses? That is so amazing! I can't wait to tell Simon, Jace and my parents. But, where is Alec? Shouldn't he be here to celebrate with us?".

"He said that he wanted to take a stroll around on his own, he must be at a weapons shop or whatever you shadowhunters call it, buying something for our little sun" he told me dismissively with a shrug "Now if you excuse me I have to prepare everything for the big announcement tonight" he stated walking away, not caring at all if I excused him or not.

But neither did I, especially since I had my head in other things... or better in another person. Alec.

I was sure that he wasn't buying weapons or taking a stroll. He was at Max's, our little brother, tomb. I sighed sadly for my big brother because he had another weight on his shoulders; he had to become the perfect trainer.

Knowing that he would need someone I walked out of the family manor and headed towards the commentary.

"What are you doing here Isabelle?" he asked me when I was a few meters away from him, his gaze not leaving the tomb of our little brother and not bothering to stand up from his kneeling.

"I just found out about the little addition to our family from a very giddy Magnus" I replied, not bothering to answer the stupid question. One because Alec already knew the answer and two because Lightwoods don't normally talk about their feelings freely "Why don't we cut the crap and you start telling me what's gotten you so worked up?".

"As blunt and direct as always, Izzy" he commented with a dry small chuckle that sent shivers through my spine. I hated when he is this depressed "Those bastards have been sabotaging all the competitions; they even tried to kidnap Max once. We were so lucky that I had my bow with me and was able to shoot them dead before they could run away with my son, or right now we would be like puppets in their hands" he started his explanation, hands clenching into fist angrily "We still don't know who is involved into this, and I had just gotten a three years old boy into this mess! You know that I'll never forgive myself if anything ends up happening to him because of me..." his voice almost broke during that last bit.

"Alec... you know that Max's death wasn't your fault, don't you?" asked him, afraid of the answer I might receive.

"I left both of you alone, Izzy" he answered stiffly, making my suspicions true "I left you alone with that monster... of course it is my fault!".

"Then it is mine as well!" I snapped at him "After all I was the one who left Max on his own with Jonathan while I was patrolling the area".

"You couldn't have known what would have happen" he told me softly, but I was still able to hear the anger in his voice.

"Neither could you" I replied breathlessly, all this emotional fight was leaving me very tired "You don't have to be a superman, Alec" I told him forgetting that he didn't spend as much time as I did with a comic DC fan, so I had to explain my metaphor "We don't need a perfect hero, we just need a big brother that is always there for us. That hears us when he need someone to complain to, that always covers our backs, that makes us feel safe and loved... we just need (you) Alec. Not perfection" I finished pouring my heart out with a tired sigh.

I knew that we promised to never tell him this, but I can't let him think that Max's death was his fault... I simply couldn't.

 **I know I've been gone too much**

 **We talk about me too much**

 **I'm selfish and distracted**

 **But I'm here, I'm here and I'm listening**

 **And It's just you and me and these four walls**

 **And we are only human after all**

 **You don't have to be Superman**

 **You don't have to be Superman**

 **You don't have to hold the world in your hands**

 **You've already shown me that you can**

 **Don't have to be Superman**

"Izzy..." he said shocked, with wide open eyes clearly not believing his ears "I...".

"Don't say anything Alec" I cut him off, shaking my head "Just think about what I told you, because that's the truth. Not what you think, blaming yourself is not the right answer. It never is".

"Since when did you become so wise?" he asked me with an amused, but grateful, small smile.

"Since my big brother showed me how" I answered with an equally amused and grateful smile, but mine was bigger.

Of course our small sibling moment was interrupted by a fire message.

"What now? Magnus is angry because we are late for his celebration party?" I demanded to know annoyed, but the serious and painful expression on my brother's face stopped me "What?" I asked, this time scared.

"They had kidnapped Rafael" he said devastated.

I felt as if a bucket of ice had overturned in my stomach. _Damn it! Why couldn't we just be happy for a while?!_ I thought angrily, curing at the angels in my mind, before following Alec towards the Lightwood manor.

 **And oh**

 **Rest your eyes now, take my hand**

 **Even heroes fall down now and then**

 **You can let it go**

 **You don't have to be Superman**

 **You don't have to be Superman**

 **You don't have to hold the world in your hands**

 **You've already shown me that you can**

 **Don't have to be Superman**

 **You don't have to be Superman**


	10. Army of me

Pain... that was the first thing that I felt as soon as I woke up, a burning pounding at the back of my head preventing rest.

"Mr. Alec!" every thought of resting flew put of my head as I heard the panicked exclamation of my future son.

"Rafael" I groaned, trying to incorporate myself. I had help from an unknown pair of hands, but I didn't pay them much attention preferring to concentrate on my little boy "Are you ok? Did they hurt you?".

"No" he answered softly, shaking his head slowly. Then he crawled on my lap and snuggled into my chest "I was afraid but these kind downworlders helped me out" he told me.

It was then when I noticed our companions. A pair of faeries, one witch, three werewolves and one vampire. All looking worn out, hungry and edgy.

"What happened?" I demanded to know as kindly as I could in this situation, being held as hostages wasn't a pleasant experience for no one.

"I was wandering around on my own one day when a group jumped on me" answered me the witch "Then I woke up in this cold and dark basement with this handcuffs. They are from an especial type, for I can't use my magic. The same happened to the rest".

"Is anyone hurt... badly?" I asked them, wanting to know if anyone was in dear need of a doctor or a silent brother.

"No" they all replied and I sighed, grateful for the little mercies.

"What is going on?" demanded to know the vampire grumpily, surely hating his actual position.

I didn't want them to panic, or to being rumors that would end up leading to a war between shadowhunters and downworlders, but I also didn't want to lie. So I did what I do best, I was honest.

I told them everything. About my family's suspicions, about the failed attempts of this terrorist group, about the kidnapping of Rafael, about how my family and I had to split up to cover more ground to look out for Rafael, about how I was paralyzed by a warlock's magic and then knocked down by a Nephilim.

"Damn it! You guys really have it hard" commented a werewolf "Only three years had passed since you all went to Hell and now you are trying to stop a terrorist group".

"Tell me about it" I replied with a dry chuckle "But that isn't important right now, we have to get out from here".

"We had already tried everything, and nothing had worked" lamented a tired faerie.

"Did you try to work together?" I asked, smiling in triumph when they looked at me confused "Does anyone know the routine of the guards? When they have a change? Or at what time do they leave the food? Or if they ever enter the cell?".

"They leave food at twelve o'clock and have a change of guards at one o'clock, the new guard never comes until fifteen minutes later" answered... Rafael. We all looked at him surprised "What?!" he asked defensively, if a kid could sound like that, at our shocked looks "I got bored".

"I bet you did" I laughed, hugging him tighter.

 _He will be a magnificent shadowhunter_ , I thought proudly.

"Everyday they come at two o'clock to get one of us and interrogate us" continued another werewolf "Everyone but Rafael, it's good to know that they have at least a bit of consciousness".

"They kidnapped Rafael to get to us, if that is consciousness I fear for the world" I snorted, but then got serious again "Look, tomorrow I will alter them as much as I can to get them to choose me for interrogation. I would have already used the fifteen minutes between the change of guards to manipulate a utensils to free myself from this handcuffs. When they think that I am unable to fight because of them I'll knock them up and get the keys to free the rest of us. Then we will use a location spell to get out of here and to the Lightwood manor, we will be enough proof to the Consul for her to put more defences around the Games. What?" I asked confused when I saw their awed gazes on me.

"You are a born leader, that's what" replied a faerie proudly, something I've noticed their kind doing more and more lately.

Ever since the trials after the Dark War and the Peace Treaty they kind of adopted me. Not that I am complaining, it's good to have such powerful allies and friends.

"Did you understand the plan?" I asked, trying not to blush at the compliment.

"What will we do if they try to stop us on our way out?" inquired the witch.

"We fight together" I answered immediately "There is no way that they will be able to stop us of we work all together as an united team".

"We don't even know each other!" exclaimed the vampire, his bad attitude was getting me angrier. He better stop or I'll have to shut him myself.

"Then we better get to know each other!" snarled a werewolf back at him, making me laugh softly.

"She is right" I commented "So, what would you like to know about me?".

And that is how we spent the rest of the day. Asking each other questions, sharpening our escapade plan and trying to relax as much as we could in a hostage situation. I smiled as I laid down to sleep, Rafael tucked next to me, knowing that we could do this.

 **I've been standing where you left me**  
 **Praying that you'd come and get me**  
 **But now I've found my second wind**  
 **Now I found my second skin**  
 **Well I know what you were thinking**  
 **You thought you'd watch me fade away**  
 **When you broke me into pieces**  
 **But I gave each piece a name**

 **One of me is wiser**  
 **One of me is stronger, one of me is a fighter**  
 **And there's a thousand faces of me**  
 **And we're gonna rise up**  
 **And we're gonna rise up**  
 **For every time you broke me**  
 **Well you're gonna face an army, army of me**

At the end I was right. The next day we succeeded in our escapade plan with no problem, the only ones that got hurt were the enemy.

We reached the Lightwood manor in matter of hours before finally letting ourselves rest. Of course, thing could never be so easy.

As soon as we sat down to take a breath the Consul appeared demanding us to present ourselves before the Nephilim court to explain what happened to us. We did as we were told and I have to admit that I liked when my father mentioned my previous chat with Aline's mother foreshadowing this, I especially enjoyed the appreciation looks of many of the shadowhunters high politicians. I kind of felt bad for the Consul she will have many problems because of my dad's comment, but she put Max and Rafael's lives in risk so I didn't feel _that_ bad.

At the end it was decided that there should be more security around Idris, especially where the Games where being held. And the everyone was recommended to not wander alone and stay in groups, even if the weren't told why exactly.

 _I hate politics and their need to keep everything calm,_ I thought annoyed at the secrets and lies.

Magnus and I even got all the papers done and adopted Rafael as our legal son under the eyes of the Nephilim and Downworlders. After all, there was no need in keeping the secret anymore. We also named Jace and Isabelle his legal godparents, I've never seen my parabatai and sister so close of crying in a room full of people that weren't family.

The Games continued smoothly, all the attempts of the terrorist group failing and everyone obliviously happy. Until the day of the permeation...

All the winners were standing on a stage in line, not only the first place but second and third as well, in the order of the competitions. We were waiting for the Consul and the ambassadors of each Downworld species to give us the golden medals with the symbol of in what we succeeded, when it happened.

A huge explosion rocked the whole stadium, people ran uncontrollably all over the place in fear. I knew that we needed to keep everyone calm, but I was still trying to stop the annoying buzz.

"ec... lec... Alec... Alec!" Magnus called out for me while shaking me "We need to get Max and Rafael!".

That was enough to snap me out of my trance. My whole family and I got ready, and only with the arms we were going to be awarded for we attacked the terrorist group. I think that our leading example was enough because soon everyone was on our side fighting against them as well.

I don't know how much time passed, how many heads I chopped off, my consciousness only returned when I had my two sons in my arms with Magnus's arms wrapping around myself.

"This will be a huge mess to fix" commented Magnus tiredly, but I was able to notice the same relieved and happy smile.

"I don't care right now, Mags" I replied, hugging my family closer "Let's just enjoy that we survived".

And we did.

 **Welcome to my revolution**  
 **All your walls are breaking down**  
 **It's time you had a taste of losing**  
 **Time the table's turned around**  
 **I see a glimpse of recognition**  
 **But it's too late ugh it's too late**  
 **And what you though was your best decision**  
 **Just became your worst mistake**

 **One of me is wiser**  
 **One of me is stronger**  
 **One of me is a fighter**  
 **And there's a thousand faces of me**  
 **And were gonna rise up**  
 **And were gonna rise up**  
 **For every time you broke me**  
 **Well you're gonna face an army, army of me**


	11. Sequel!

_**Author's Note:**_

 ** _This work has a sequel, it's name is: Don't go breaking my heart_** ** _._**

 ** _I hope you'll enjoy it as well._**

 ** _XOXOKURENOHIKARI:)_**


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